Changes

So my little boy is 7 months old now. Sometimes it's just crazy how things change.

For instance-my husband's brother recently had a baby, and I got to see him right after they left the hospital. And he seemed so TINY. I couldn't believe that only 6ish months ago, we had a baby just as small! I was even nervous to hold him, and when I did, I was shocked at how light he felt. In fact, it made me a little sad, almost. My little baby is starting to turn into a little boy. He was fascinated by the new baby, trying to reach to grab him. And when the two dads held them up side-by-side for a picture, Clark just looked massive in comparison. He also looked so alert and aware, in comparison to this tiny baby who always has his eyes closed.

In fact, I find every day I notice something else about Clark that makes him look more boyish and less babyish-don't get me wrong, he still looks very much like a baby, but you can definitely start to see how he will soon be a boy.

For instance, his hair has been getting longer for some time now, so that from the back, he looks like a boy-it's long enough to fall almost like a hairstyle. And, added to that, he talks all the time in his tiny little voice, and laughs now like a boy-more of a haha sound. And he loves when you do funny things on purpose. He gets so excited, and if you keep doing it over and over again, he will actually laugh before you can do the funny thing because he is way to excited for it.

But most of all, he is now crawling. And he is getting pretty good at it too. He can be speedy when he wants to-which means he is now constantly getting into anything he can that is potentially dangerous-his favorite currently being electrical cords-doesn't matter what colour or what they are for, he wants to chew on them. He also loves sucking on wooden things, which just does not seem healthy to me.

And today, he discovered himself in our floor length mirror. He was so excited to see this new baby friend of his! He played with his reflection for almost half an hour, which reinforced to me the need to get him a baby friend, and soon. It would be so cute to see him crawling around with another baby. So hopefully we can get some sort of playdate together soon for him.

I find this stage hard-he is changing, and every change is wonderful to watch. It makes me so happy and so proud of him to watch him learn and discover and develop. It also makes me proud of us as parents as well-that we created this amazing baby, brought him into this world, and are helping him to learn all of this. But it is sad in another way-and I am starting to realize what people mean when they say that it goes by fast. Because I have to say, I feel as though the past 7 months of my life have just flown by. There's been good and bad-but the good has completely outweighed the bad. He amazes me every day, not just in what he is capable of, but in how much I love him. Though I know he won't stay a baby forever, I am treasuring the time I have with him as a baby, and I know I will look back when he's grown, and wish it could have lasted longer. But for now, I am too busy chasing him around!

Diet and Exercise

So I posted a little while ago about my goal to try to lose more of the baby weight by working out. And to be honest, I've been doing ok-I seem to have spurts where I do it several days, and then don't. But we've just been crazy busy lately, it seems. My husband took on a bigger position, and is working more at the beginning to learn it-added to that, he has a side business of programming, that he has two projects that are coming up to be due. So he is definitely what you would consider to be a busy guy, which leaves me with Clark, and I obviously can't tell him to drop his work so I can make it to the gym. But anyway, I'm trying to do what I can. I'm hoping to get back on schedule soon.

But I also started a diet. Now, Clark has been starting to try to wean himself off of breastfeeding for a month and a bit now, which is extremely frustrating. He will just randomly refuse to breastfeed-cue kicking, screaming and clawing at my eyes like a tiny feral animal. So as it is right now, he is only getting 2 good breastfeeds a day(morning and night), and if I'm lucky, a kind of crappy one in between. So I discussed it with my husband, and since I want to try to lose weight, we talked about dieting without hindering my milk supply any more.

I settled with counting calories. I really wanted to join a place like Weight Watchers or Jenny Craig, but both can cost quite a bit of money, and they have a weekly meeting to go to-which, I mean, really-I don't even have time to go to the gym, nevermind a weight loss meeting. Plus, I figured this-if it works, will have good long-term effects. It will teach me to watch portion sizes and what I put in my mouth. So I downloaded a calorie counting app on my phone, and so far, I've really been enjoying it. It is amazing how you stop and think before you stick something in your mouth if you are going to have to write it down. I've also found that watching how many calories I have left per day makes me aware closer to bedtime(i.e. I don't tend to have snacks after dinner now, unless I saved some calories up.) Anyway, there are drawbacks. I have definitely felt hungry-not starving or anything, multiple times. It's also easy to try to rationalize NOT entering something you just ate-especially when you have very few calories left. But, we are trying to plug through. The only thing that is trouble is that it doesn't take into consideration the fact that I am breastfeeding when it comes to my calories, so I tend to go 100-200 calories over to make up for the food he eats, though if he continues to drop feedings, I will probably drop those calories as well.

I'm really hoping for the best with doing this. I lectured my husband for hours on how he has to support me, but not encourage or tempt me with things that I shouldn't be eating. He hasn't been the best so far-the problem being, he hates the idea of me being not completely stuffed at all times, and constantly tries to shove food in my face. He's very sweet about it, and constantly tells me that he loves how I look, but as I tell him, I'm not really doing this for him-I'm doing this for me. And for Clark. I want to be a good example for him, and I want to be healthy so I can keep up with him.

Let's hope this sticks, because I had the horrifying realization the other day that Clark is now 6.5 months old. It's funny how you think your baby is so young, and so you have an excuse not to worry about weight and food-which is true, to a certain extent. But then, BAM! It hits you-if I haven't lost ANY weight in 6.5 months, how much longer will it take to lose it? And that's what I keep reminding myself of. It's not going to happen magically, and I need to work hard at it. So I'm really, really, trying to keep myself motivated, and keep going with this. Hopefully I'll have a positive update in the near future!