Vacations

My son is four and a half months old, and we haven't travelled with him. I don't imagine this is too uncommon, as most sane people would probably prefer not to. But an emergency with a family member has come up in Ontario, so we leave in 6 days, for a 4 day trip. I never imagined travelling with Clark, but now that the reality is here, it's horrifying. There are many reasons:

1.) Packing - What the heck am I supposed to bring? And how much of it? Will it all fit? What if he is in a puking/peeing mood, and needs 100 changes of clothes? What if I bring 100 changes of clothes and he only needs 4? I hate bringing stuff that I won't end up using, but I also hate not bringing enough, or forgetting something that is essential. And how are we supposed to be able to carry around a child, a car seat, a car seat base, a stroller, a gazillion bags and suitcases, toys, blankets, nursing pillow, tickets, id, so on and so forth. I just know that something will either be dropped and lost or put down in a moment of panic and forgotten(I'm just hoping it's not the baby.)

2.) Plane Ride - If we were only going to be on a plane for an hour, I would think it would be no big deal, but our flight is 4 hours long. Add to that the fact that I get motion sick, and that as I am a new mom, I am not used to the fact that 100 other strangers will be subjected to my child screaming at them for indeterminate amount of time. I cringe when he cries in public, feeling like people are judging me. Not to mention my baby is ACTIVE. He likes to roll around, stand, have us walk him around. His schedule is sleep, eat, and play for 1.5 hours. How is that going to happen when he has to stay on either my husband or I's lap the entire time? And how will I manage that if I'm trying not to throw up all over him? And don't even get me started on the take off and landing. The doctor advised us, "Well, just feed him, and he'll be fine." Excuse me, have you met my child. He is the pickiest eater already. If conditions are not ideal, he does not eat. He cries. And if it's breastfeeding, forget it. He has a stronger neck and back then my arms will ever be. And soothers? They stay in his mouth for approximately 0.001 seconds before they become a projectile that lands 10 feet away.

3.) Sitting in the airport - This did not occur to be until my husband mentioned it. It's a 45 minute drive to the airport. And then at least an 1.5 hour wait for the flight. That's 2.25 hours BEFORE we have to go on a 4 hour flight. Then, we arrive, we have to wait for baggage, and then a ride to the hotel, which in total is probably around an hour to an hour and a half. In total, just to get there will take us about 7.5 hours. This is the worst news possible. I admit it, I do not breastfeed in public. Not ever, it's something I just can't become comfortable with. So how is this going to work? I know my son. He will not sleep well, and will thus eat more frequently then he is supposed to. So I will probably end up having to feed him a minimum of 2 times, more likely 3. Might I mention if I try to put a nursing cover or blanket over his head while he eats he will tear it off and scream at me for an hour? How dare I separate him from the outside world while he eats? And I definitely can't bottle feed him 3 times in a row-not only will I be risking harming my milk supply(it's been a struggle to keep it, as it is), I would be so engorged I would probably end up drowning everyone on the plane with me, not to mention mastitis has come to visit me several times before, and I definitely don't want to give it any reason to come back.

4.) Car Ride -  Then to make matters worse, our destination is not the city we arrive in. No, it has to be 2.5 hours away. Luckily my sister arranged it so when we arrive we stay overnight in a hotel and then do the drive, but that still doesn't save us from the horror that is a car ride with my child. He has to eat before he goes in so that he will be happy. But then you've got a max of 30 minutes where he will stare out the window, or play with his hands. Then you have to do everything you can to entertain him-toys, books, songs, whatever you are desperate enough to do. Then he starts screaming, and you just have to let him until he sleeps, while blaring a CD of sleep music for him. Then, you can never stop driving. If you see a hint of yellow light, you speed through it. Because if you dare stop, or even try to slightly slow down below 60 km/h, you are done for. He will wake up instantly, and he will wake up mad. Then you've got to pull him out, attempt a terrible feeding and start again. Basically, a disaster all around. It usually ends up with everyone exhausted, angry, frustrated and in a bad mood for the next 24 hours. And the longest car ride we've done so far is only 45 minutes. So you can see why I'm concerned.

5.) But the worst, the absolute worst is the coming home. We have the 2.5 hour ride to the airport. Then we have the wait in the airport. Then we have the plane ride. Then we must disembark and wait a year for luggage. Then we have a 45 minute drive home. We also arrive at night, which means my husband will need to go to bed immediately as he will have to get up early for work. Horrible, horrible, horrible.

I know what everyone except my husband thinks when I talk about this. They think I'm so dramatic, and as my family says(who are traveling with us), "It won't be nearly as bad as you think." How wrong they are. I'm 120% sure that it will be a hundred times WORSE then what I'm thinking, and will scar both my husband and I for life. In fact, I predict this will lead to no vacations until he's 5 and we can leave him with someone for a week and go to Mexico and lay on a beach together and pretend we were how we used to be. People without a child really do not realize how much a baby changes everything. Anyway, believe me, you will hearing about how the trip goes when we get back(expect the worse news possible.)