Sleep Training

You may remember my post about Nap Time Horrors a while back. My son is not a good napper-he's never been. My husband and I worked on it very hard for several weeks, attachment parenting style(mixed with our own style), and all in all, it was not a success. I mean, he would go into his crib 1 out of every 3 times, but even then, he would never sleep longer than 25-30 minutes, which would mean he would get up, still very tired, and also now in a bad mood.

I then spent the better part of 3 weeks researching different techniques and reading what other moms had to say about them, and decided to read the giant, cumbersome, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It took a long time to read, though I only read the first couple of chapters and then the chapters that dealt with his specific problem, and age range. So finally, on Thursday last week, I was finished, and my husband and I chatted about using the principles in the book. We agreed with most things, but adjusted them according to our son's schedule and what we felt would be best for him.

Let me just say, sleep training is no joke. Yet, it is so much easier following another person's step by step instructions. When we were on our own, it was so easy to flake on what we had decided, or try to change it, but when it's right in front of you, in black and white letters, it's kind of hard to pretend it says something else. Believe me, I tried. I just hate when he gets upset at nap time, but my husband pulled out the book and pointed out the paragraph to me, and once we stuck with it, the results have been phenomenal.

We still have a long way to go, but I will describe for you what my son was before, and what he is now, not even a week into training.

Before:

1. Clark did not sleep in his crib, playpen, or anywhere else besides someone's arms, sometimes only mine.
2. The max he would sleep when being held was 20-30 minutes.
3. If an attempt was made to put him in his crib, immediately screaming freak-out would commence.
4. He was always exhausted when he would wake up and be cranky and tired almost immediately again.
5. We would have to rock him for 30-45 minutes to get him asleep, and once asleep, if we dared to move out of the rocking chair, he would instantly wake up.

Now:

1. He sleeps in his crib for every naptime, and at other people's houses will go into a playpen. He never sleeps in anyone's arms unless we are somewhere where there is no available crib.
2. He will sleep anywhere from between 30 minutes - 1.25 hours.
3. He goes to his crib with no crying, falling asleep again as soon as he touches the mattress.
4. Most naps he wakes up in a great mood, and stays up for longer between the naps.
5. He has a wind down routine of quiet playing for 10-15 minutes, and once in the rocking chair, it takes approximately 3 minutes of rocking and he is out like a light-for good.

Now, mind you, I haven't included the fact that he has on naps and off naps. For example, take yesterday. His first two naps were a dream-no crying at any time. Third nap was good, with him sleeping 20 minutes, then waking up to kind of mumble a bit and then fall asleep again for another 50 minutes. Amazing. I thought for sure we were in the clear. Then today happened. I'm not sure if he stiffened his resolve overnight, or if he just was mad at me, but his first nap, I very nicely rocked him to sleep, to have him wake up five minutes later in his crib, and scream. For an entire hour. So I went, sobbing my eyes out, and got him from his crib, which he then proceeded to smile and LAUGH as I picked him up. Now the problem is that, of course he is the cutest thing ever when he does that. Yet, it seemed totally evil of him! It was like he was saying to me, "Haha, got you. You think I'm going to nap? Challenge accepted!"(As Barney from How I Met Your Mother would say.) And he proceeded to do the exact same thing for his next two naps. Which also meant he had wayyy to many naps today, as he WASN'T SLEEPING.

Then the real kicker. My husband and I have a weekly outing we do with Clark, which we have to leave at 7:00 pm for. We put him down for his nap at 6:10, hoping all will be well. He proceeded to scream right up until 6:59 on the dot, and then fall asleep. So my husband, as he couldn't get out of it, had to go, and here I am, typing you this blog entry.

Raising a child is hard work. Having a baby sometimes seems impossible. I often think of people I know, like my husband's mother, who had 6 children, and think, how is she not in a mental institution? But as I told my husband this afternoon, in a bout of frustration, tears, and a slight panic attack, sleep training is the worst so far. You feel as though you are progressing so much, and then, WHAM-you seem further behind then where you started. But I've made the resolve to get through three weeks. If he's just as bad three weeks from now, I will fly the white flag, and try something else. As I also told my husband today, the problem is the fact that both my husband and I can be extremely stubborn people, to a fault, almost. And he obviously inherited this quality from both of us, making him even more stubborn, if that's possible. The worst part is that I wish he would understand that I am doing this for him. I want him to sleep well, and to be happy all day, and enjoy playtime. I want to have more playtime with him, instead of having to rush around getting stuff done, because I have no other time to do it. It's amazing how much I love him, so much my heart breaks when he cries like this, so much that I feel guilty and horrible, and feel physical pain. Yet, I am trying to get through, because I know we will both be better after this. Hopefully this "after" part comes soon, I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'll update you again in a couple of days, hopefully with positive news.

You think I'm going to sleep? We'll see about that...